Goodmorning is a relative term no?
For example, today mine definitely started with a morning...but the whole 'good' thing...not so much.
It was one of these:
I wake up still trying to sort out what the farksticks was the deal with the series finale of Dexter...the ending sucked donkey kong balls.
I wake up still trying to sort out what the farksticks was the deal with the series finale of Dexter...the ending sucked donkey kong balls.
Kids wake up at 5:30 and roam around my room in the dark trying to find the iPad, while bumping into just about everything in the room in the process, thereby erasing any chance of a little more shut eye for moi.
Husband is out of town so no coffee in bed...and yes, I realize that this one makes me sound like a helpless princess but I don't give a rat's ass...it's how my morning is supposed to start...when it doesn't, me no happy.
I ask kids to get dressed...one can't get her closet open...the other has no clean underwear in his drawer and isn't keen on going downstairs by himself to retrieve some...a small battle ensues between the two as they try to negotiate terms...it all sounds like nails on a chalkboard.
Cleaning lady shows up and house looks like a large bomb went off in it...her first stop in the kids bathroom where she finds a rather unwelcoming toilet prezzie thanks to the kid who has a very hard time remembering that things really should be flushed.
I start working hoping to get some stuff accomplished before I have to run the kids to school, only to realize that it's actually 10 minutes before we're supposed to leave and I have no lunches packed or breakfasts made...this turns me instantly into a very very unpleasant drill sergeant.
Even though there is zero time, my OCD bed making thing sets in and won't let me leave the damn sheets un-done even though there is literally NO TIME...the mental 'something really bad will happen if these beds don't get made before you leave the house' mantra really, really pisses me off on days like these.
Since there's no time for a real breakfast (in part due to the above mentioned OCD bed situation,) I decide to give the kids each a banana and a cranberry fiber bar...too bad the bananas aren't ripe and I literally need a machete to get them peeled...I've got mushed banana all over my hands...oh and it takes me at least 10 'eat your bars' to get the other breakfast option down their throats.
I can't brush my teeth because there's no toothpaste...as well, I've been washing my hair for the past 4 days with baby shampoo.
I send the boy up to get socks and least 5 times...he finally manages to get them and proceeds to leave them on the hallway floor...this I discover once he's buckled into his car seat...with dirty pants and a backwards sweater.
Just before leaving, I open the kids' backpacks and as no surprise, they need money...I think I could buy a new car with the amount of money I send into their school each year but that's another story...I spend the next 5 minutes madly searching for 2 twoonies to attach to the neat little circle on the form...to help, I ask the daughter to run upstairs and get some tape on my dresser...like the socks scenario, it takes a few 'look at me and listen' takes before she's on the move...in the meantime, I have to pack lunches...I see her making her way down the stairs so I ask where the tape is to which she responds 'I put it on the counter in the kitchen like you said'...to which I say, 'that's impossible since I've been in the kitchen the whole time and you're upstairs'...to which she looks at me like I have eight heads...we go back and forth a few times and then I finally follow her up to to the bathroom where she points to the tape sitting on the counter...I stare at her blankly for a few minutes trying not to sound like total bitch and say 'honey, is that the kitchen?'...she smiles and says 'oh silly me' and runs off without the tape.
It's finally time to get the kids to school and I send them to the car in advance of me and the baby...I get myself out the door with babes in hand and realize that he's in a onesie and it's about 5 degrees out...have to run back in and grab clothes for him so that I can dress him in before any moms at school decide I'm officially not mother of the year.
Before we pull out, I have to run into the house 3 times for forgotten stuff.
The field we walk across to get the kids to school is soaking wet...and I don't have my rain boots on...and the bell rings well in advance of us all being where we need to be...and oops...I'm not wearing a bra.
I have $1.40 worth of chance in the car...no purse...and a Tim Horton's coffee is $1.60- fuck.
The baby falls asleep in the car, which sounds alright in theory but acutally means that he sleeps for 20 minutes instead of 2 hours...he's sitting beside me right now grabbing at the computer and making it very known that I need to be done with it so he can have his breakfast...good times.
Because husband is away in combo with too many things to do, I haven't been to yoga in a week...my nightly healthy escape has been replaced with too much wine, which apparently makes me way less able to cope with these kinds of mornings in a way that doesn't make me sound/look like purgatories answer to motherhood.
And when more than one person throws out a happy 'Good Morning' in the midst of this, all that runs through my brain is that I want to punch each of them in the face...hard.
Thankfully, all is not lost...
I had a pretty splendid day yesterday on the interwebs.
For one...I received a little peek of how #projectbeverlyhills is coming along and well, she's looking real real purdy if you ask me...
As a reminder, this is how this spot looked before...
The walls have been painted out in a crisp white...luxurious navy velvet curtains have been hung...a stunning Murano chandelier has been put up...brass bamboo chairs have been purchased and re-upholstered in black faux ostrich...and a Madeline Weinrib rug has found a cozy spot on the floor.
Stay tuned for a final reveal soonly.
And last but not least...and because I want to end this moodly post on a super duper high note....
Jasper's nursery feature has been posted online!!!!!
This of course means that all of you who don't subscribe to the magazine (silly beans on that one) can peruse it at your leisure.
If you missed my reveal post, here's a snapshot of the room thanks to the Style at Home team and amazing photographer, Ashley Capp...
You can see more and read the article, which was PS written by yours truly, by clicking HERE.
And I think that's all for this cat today...
Thinking I might turn my morning around by treating myself to a shower...it's the little things;)
xo
